Delicate Hearts
by CupcakeQueen1066
Summary: Clary was raised with abuse, what can she do? Facing a future with a man she despises. Can she survive if she hates her abusive mother Jocelyn? She cannot protect herself, nor can her brother. Sometimes there's one thing left to do. RUN. Based in an alternate reality where parents control the lives of their children and the poor. Contains abuse.
1. The Start

Me and my clothes I have to wear, have a love hate relationship. I don't mind having to wear restricting clothes really, I just don't like the colours; pale pinks, midday blues, and sunny yellows. It just not me.

I prefer dusty rose pink, midnight blue, and deep reds. I understand in some way why I have to wear them. But it doesn't mean I have to like it or the way my mother handles my 'despicable behaviour'. I do everything she asks yet what do I get? Scars.

It's my birthday soon. In two days. I don't like the clothes, extravagant gifts. Nor the falseness of the rich, either trying to get up my skirts (Raphael), or 'overhear' something bad to make my family fall from what I call living hell. Above all I hate, absolutely despise the music. My brother Jon once took me to a 'pub' I think it was called dressed in trousers, a tee shirt and him also in a hat. Since I don't go out much, I didn't need one no one recognized me. But the music that they call 'rock' was fantastic!

Don't get me wrong I don't have a music taste. Weird isn't it? But listening to the same noises over and over again just makes me loose it and acting happy at the same time is preposterous!

'Clarissa!' Snapping back into reality, no longer the past, I realized my Mother asked me a question.  
'Huh?'  
''Pardon' Clarissa. And I said are. You. Going. To. Dance. With RAPHAEL?!'  
'Mother, please I beg of you! Don't make me! He's vile!' I begged, already braced for what I knew would come. But I had to try. I was bargaining for my sanity.  
'Clarissa, don't talk about him that way!' She spat at me giving me the look that meant I'd pay for it, I'd regret it later. I never do.

I was having a dress made for the ball in two days, on my birthday. Midnight blue Puffy skirt, made of layers of closely woven netting in black and thin transparent layers of silks in both blacks and blues. No petticoats since I do not like the restricting steps I need to take to move in it. I think my mother allowed this small indecent thing since she wants Rafael to be able to easily do what ever he wants. She wouldn't care.

The corset was the same blue as the skirts and was a sweetheart style neck-line and had lace going up around my neck and also the sleeves were the same black lace. A navy blue sash was tied around the base of the corset and top of the skirts and formed an over sized bow in the back.

A few minuets later I felt a faint prick on my stomach and I reacted. I instantly regretted it.  
'Ow!' The panic on my maid's face was excruciating as I knew what would happen if she got found out for even that one small prick. If my mother found out the maid was as good as dead. I knew what would happen if I lied but she wouldn't hurt the girls.

'Ah, that hurt my ankle!' I lied. Not the best acting and I knew she saw right through the façade.  
'Clarissa.' I knew I was In for it. Especially when all the maids other then Maryse stepped away. I stood rigidly my gaze on the floor. 'Don't lie to me. You know I hate liars. SO DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME!'

Suddenly I was on the floor with a stinging cheek my arm twisted beneath my small body. Bring y undamaged hand to my cheek I felt something warm, something sticky. bringing my hand to my eyes I realized her ring cut me. It cut me.

Slowly lifting my eyes to my mothers furious gaze I cringed back. Wrong move.

As her healed foot connected with my petite waist I doubled over and collapsed. laying in the foetal position. I cried not because of pain. I blocked that out years ago. I cried for a mother I never had. I cried for my fragile and broken body. I just cried.

My mother left the room slamming the door behind her, saying the words she always says when I disappoint her. 'You are a pathetic exuse for a human being. You are not my daughter.' Worst thing was, I was actually starting to believe her.


	2. The Marriage Plan

'Clary I'm so sorry. I wish you would just run but your too selfless and... and I'm so, so sorry!' She was crying now. my palm just raised as if to touch her cheek, it stayed suspended as I hesitated, throat clenching as I tried to say something. 'I'm so sorry Clary. So sorry.'  
'Maryse? Maryse, Its not your fault. I just drew the short straw I guess...!' trying for a smile, a pathetic one but still a smile, I reached forward and touched the cheek of the only mother figure I've ever known. 'Your the one who should go but you stay by me. God knows I don't deserve it.' I drew my hand back to my lap and let her clean and dress the cut on my cheek.

When I got up, putting my hand on the arm I pushed myself up only to fall back down gasping, tears filling my eyes. 'Clary? Clary what's wrong?'  
'M-my H-hand!' I gasped out. 'My h-hand!' eyes wide I stared at the thing that will make the next few days living hell. 'Maryse, I-I... what's she going to do to me?' I Questioned fear fully.  
'I don't know Clarissa. I really don't know.' Her voice wavered. It never breaks like that. Never.

The next day I woke with a fuzzy head to my mother shouting.  
'CLARISSA!' I groaned when I tried to move. Stomach clenching in pain as the previous nights memories overcame my fog clouded mind. 'I mean it Clarissa! Get your lazy good-for-nothing arse out of bed, you lazy shit!' Getting out of bed and gasped. My ribs were on fire. they were burning inside. gasping breaths I slowly stood up and staggered over to the rose wood wardrobe with my good hand clutching at my waist.

I heard a loud slam of my door being flung open, I knew it wasn't my mother shed be too busy kissing up to Rafael's farther. Maryse rushed over to me and supported my weight so I could manage to get to the chair. How did I know this? She never lets me do too much if I'm hurt. Always trying to save me but I cannot be saved any more then my brother could. My mother when ever I asked why she didn't love me would always say, 'To love is to destroy, and to be loved is to be destroyed.' That is if she didn't beet me for insolence.

After I got ready, which was do-able since I've done it in worst conditions before, I went downstairs. Reaching the oak doors Maryse ushered me outside into the sun.  
'Clarissa! At last.' My mother said tightly, lips pulled into an expression worthy of being lemons. 'We were just talking about your wedding plans.'  
Plans? 'What plans Mother?' I questioned, breathing uneven. panic obscuring my vison.  
'you are to marry the day after your birthday. On Friday!.'  
'to who mother?' I asked through clenched teeth.  
'Raphael'

With that the bubble I built around my heart, burst. a sense of betrayal over came me. I didn't think even my mother could stoop that low.  
I collapsed. Damaged hand holding back on itself with a large sound not unlike a gun being fired. I didn't feel it.

'To love is to destroy. To be loved is to be the one destroyed.'


	3. The Hope

_Pain._  
 _Darkness._  
 _Betrayal._  
 _A hand._  
 _A ring._  
 _A life lost not to the warm open arms of the devil or god._  
 _A life lost to being a slave._  
 _ **Whore.**_

 _Opening my eyes, a bright light burned. The familiar humming of Maryse sewing. I'm a whore, I'm worthless. tears dripped down my tired face, streaks of warmth on my cold, cold skin._  
 _'Clary? I will get you out. I promise.'_  
 _ **Darkness.**_

 _No Pain_  
 _Laughter._  
 _Joy._  
 _Jon._  
 _Turned backs._  
 _A gun._  
 _Brother dead on the floor._  
 _ **Worthless.**_

 _Nothing no noise. Not even Maryse. Im all alone. I'm worthless, no one cares. No tears, there all gone. I'm numb._  
 _Agony._  
 _Darkness._  
 _Cramps._  
 _Stone._  
 _ **No one cares.**_

 _Happyness._  
 _Home._  
 _Not my home._  
 _Blood through my read hair._  
 _'Clary run.' shes my best friend._  
 _I'm running._  
 _Traitor._  
 _ **I.**_  
 _ **DO.**_  
 _ **NOT.**_  
 _ **EXSIST.**_  
_

I'm sitting in my room. Apparently my mother has left to go to France for the best pastry chefs. I'm indifferent.  
'Clary? We can get you out tonight. Okay?' I don't answer. Who cares about my opinion. I stare at my black white walls. No emotion. No fear. No pain.  
No pain.  
Pain.  
Traitor.  
' I don't want to marry him.'


	4. Running

To night a group of rebles are going to storm the building. Well thats what Maryse said. Run to the kitchen gardens. Do not stop. She'll meet me. Wont she? Do I trust her? Can I trust any one?

Shrouded in a hooded black cape I walked to the closet and got into the hidey hole in the back by pushing two slats barely big enough for me to fit through and I hide. Sitting in the cold darkness, memories filled my head.

 _'Clary, Clary! Your my favourite sister!'_  
 _'I'm your only sister you prat!'_  
 _'I'm wounded'-His cocky grin.- Oh Jon if only I stopped it before._  
 _'Jon? Has Mother hurt you'_  
 _'No clary and she wont hurt you here. Not if I'm here!'-Oh Jon you don't stay do you?_  
 _'Haha,' he's tickling me. I'm laughing. It's the last time I'll laugh._  
 _'Clary?'_  
 _'Yeah?'_  
 _'She's pregnant.'_  
 _'Do you love her?'_  
 _'Yes with my whole being!'_  
 _'Then run I won't stop you Jon. I won't hate you.'-Oh Jon you should have run earlier._  
 _'Clary-'_  
 _'No Jon. You deserve to be happy, Jon. Mother will kill you-her if you don't run! Please Jon she's also my friend! Take car of her away from here! far away!'_  
 _'...'_  
 _'Please?'_  
 _'Okay.'_  
 _' I love you Jon.'_  
 _'I love you too Red.'_

'Crash!'  
Upon hearing the first braking windows, I held my breath slowly letting it out when I couldn't take it anymore and the silently breathed in. There has a sound like splintering bone which must be my bedroom door since it was so close. I didn't have windows in my room. I muffled a cry as the door slammed onto the closet jarring my back from its place on the wall.

'Clarissa?' a laughing voice sung. 'Oh my darling! My rich bitch where are you?!' He was laughing like a mad man. 'Clarissa-'  
'She's not here ya' idiot! Maryse said she went with her mother! Ya' imbecile!' What were they on about? But then again she did know when they were coming... Why didn't she tell me?  
'Ohhhh, can ah' take a pair of 'er pants.'  
'Nah ya' sick bastard! C'mon!' I heard the lock snap into place and hid for a few minuets, encase they came back. They didn't,

Vacating my hiding spot, I smelt a faint odour that was suspiciously like smoke. Oh well if this place burns one less thing to become hell again. If I escape. Hurrying down the numerous corridors to the kitchens to exit the building near the drains out side.

The kitchens were on the ground floor of the mansion on the opposite side of the building, so I had to go through the servants staircases to be faster. I almost ran into a few groups of Rebels. At the bottom of the stairs I almost ran smacking into the wall only just turning in time to open the door to the right hand side of me.

Too late I realized the smoke was coming from the kitchen. But I had to escape so picking up the bottom of the cape I covered my mouth with one hand and stumbled along using the other as a guide to the far door. Eventually reaching the door I slumped against it worn out from the lack of oxygen in my lungs, but I had to keep going. I had to run.

I opened the door.


	5. Leaving

Opening the door to the vegtable gardens, I slamed he door shut and stumbled a few steps before colapsing too my knees. A hand appeared infront of my vision. Maryse.

'Clary, where were you?' She asked panicking.  
'They were in my room. they wouldn't leave. Maryse? why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have told?' I said, my voice rasping due to my damaged throat.  
'I know but if were to be found out I didn't want your mother to punish you. I knew it would be worse then every thing in the past, every single thing she did. I couldn't do that to you Clary. Please understand.' She was begging. Pleading. I know she wouldn't lie about that. I really did.  
'I do Maryse, I just cannot trust you the same.' As I said it the pained on Maryse worsened.  
'I understand Clary. Can you ever forgive me.'  
'To love is to destroy, and to be loved is to be destroyed' is that not what my mother said? Sometimes Maryse, I can see what she's saying. Can I ever trust anyone?' After that she was quiet.

As we walked down the street, the tense silence became unbearable. I didn't mean to upset her. Really. I just needed her to understand.  
'I'm sorry Maryse, but you do understand I've been hurt to much, I know you care and I care about you too, but Maryse that might be the beginning to the end! I just want to leave and never come back! Go some where! Even if I'm poor! I know its poverty, but I can go without the food. Mothers starved me enough.'  
'Its okay. Clary I just want to say I don't what to let you down! I-'  
She was cut off as rebels came around the corner of the houses on the street.  
'Shit! Pardon Clary! But we need to go!' She dragged me to a grate around the corner of the street and heaved up the thick, heavy mesh with me helping. 'Go on, Clary go!'

Climbing down the rusting metal ladder I felt a chill elope my skin, goose-bumps raising the hair on my arms. It was too much like one of the many forms of punishments my mother made me succumb to.  
'Hurry! Clarry hurry! We'll go to my familys house, and hide you for a while. Okay?'

'Clary!?' Her pannicked tone snaped me to realitity before I could flash back. 'You okay?'  
'Uhuh.' I answered shakily. Walking through the chilling, water with the stench of faeces, I kept feeling ghosts of my past creeping up on me.

 _'_ _ **Worthless**_ _piece of shit'_ -I cried out.  
 _'You_ _ **disgusting**_ _ **whore**_ _'_ -I flinched  
 _'Clarissa, don't you fucking run away you_ _ **piece of crap**_ _!'_ -I broke.

I didn't realize I collapsed until I felt iciness close around my face, but by then I was to far gone to not pass out.

Darkness closed in around me.


	6. Golden Boy

I woke up to harsh whispers outside of my- where am I, I thought to my self, flinching back in the bed my breathing turned rapid and I must of let out a whimper because, quite suddenly, all conversation stopped and the door knob turned.  
There stood the most beautiful boy I've everseen. Golden all over. Gold skin, gold hair, and gold eyes.

I didn't trust him.

I sat there shaking, eyes wide as I stood at the figure across the room who seemed to illuminate the room, all on his own. Pulling up the covers to my chin I clenched my fists in the thin, rough fabric and scrambled to the corner of the bed where I knelt cowering. Whimpering

Suddenly he grinned. ''Ello there! My names Jace and you are Clarissa. Maryse has told us all about you!' He reached out one hand and I flinched. He frowned and I, in anticipation for the beating I would surly get from this boy, turned my head away and pinched my eyes shut. Keeping out everything and every one.  
'I'm not gonna hurt ya' Clary, she said you'd be scared but... but your like a beaten and broken animal. what happened to ya''  
'JACE WAYLAND SHUT UP OR I SWARE-!' Another male voice interrupted Jace then I heard a familiar voice shush them both.  
'Be quiet, the 'ole lot of you! your scaring her. Jace I'm not joking!' Coming over to me, her expression softened and she slowed her pace. 'Clary, Hun, will you come over here? They won't hurt you I promise.'

I nodded.

Skirting around Jace, I slowly made my way to Maryse. she pulled me to her chest crushing my broken wrist. I flinched. 'Clary, sorry Hun' she loosed her grasp and I reluctantly moved away, tears falling from my eyes.  
Suddenly a girl came running into the room stopping short when she saw me. 'Your awake!' the baffled expression surprised me. how long was I out for? 'You was out for two days! jeez! you scared Mama!'  
hearing the familiar way she talked about her mother, the amount of love in it, brought fresh tears to my eyes

'Aw Izzy! you made her cry! com'ere!' Goldie- Jace was approaching me arms open.  
seeing me flinch the girl-Izzy teased Goldie, 'Aw she don' like ya' Jace! Big blow to ya' ego right there!'  
'I'm wounded you would think me to insecure as to believe my ego would have shrunk!'  
'shut up both ya'. Clary do you want anything to eat?' I shook my head. 'Wrong thing to say, do you want anything to 'drink'?' I didn't answer.

'Izzy get her a cup of milk, and don't dilute it either.' Right then a dark haired man walked in.  
'Your wasting expensive stuff on one of the posh twats that had me whipped in the park?'  
'Alec, she never even left her house. She doesn't get involved she has her own things to worry about! So don't go accusing her!' Maryse, always there.  
'Yeah, how fat something will make'er! what colour suits her best!' I flinched. 'Mama, ju-'  
'Alec, shut up!' Maryse defended.

Handing me the glass of milk Izzy just carried in Maryse told everyone to go and get something to eat and she came over to me and gave me a pile of clothes and an old cord to tie at the waist of the trousers apparently. 'Clary I'm going to be in there with the rest of them. when your dressed call me and I'll help you into there, okay?' After nodding at the cloths, silently begging me to get dressed, she walked out to join her family.

The cloths contained an old warn cotton t-shirt ,over sized on my small body, and some trousers that, in the end, I had to call Maryse to help since my waist was unhealthily small, too small to be petite. After sorting out the trousers, Maryse and I heard a gasp.

'C-clary w-what happed to your back! Mama I came in ta tell ya' someone's asked to see ya' at Pandemonium, but... Clary...'  
'Clary do you mind if Izzy sits with you for a while?' I shook my head. 'Okay, Izzy can you sit in here with her please? Thank you Izzy! I'll be back soon!'

After hearing the door slam Izzy started up again. 'Clary what 'append to you back? It was all red and scarred. It were 'orrible! Sorry! it's not my place to ask!' She looked so sorry and scared I couldn't hate her. I really tried to.  
'Its fine someone who should care about me... hurt me.'  
'Oh! I'm so, so sorry I brought it up! I wont tell any one I sware!'  
'Thank you. I appreciate the discretion.'

Then Jace walked in. 'Izzy we were going to go to Pandemonium to listen to some music. Ya' coming? You too Clary!'  
'I-I don't listen to that kind of music, S-s-sorry!' I was panicking now, but he only looked at me curiously.  
'Then ya' missin' out!'

He didn't know Pandemonium was the last place my brother took me. That listening to the music reminds me I'm a failure. That I destroy.

To love is to destroy.


	7. Nightmare's Hold

_'Kaelie?' She ran into the room looking flustered. 'What's wrong?' after seeing her run through the door waking me up, I expected the worse. She was grinning._  
 _'Why does anything have to be wrong, Clary? Can I not just visit a friend?' She was playing with her night gown now. 'Look, I-I'm not sure whether Jon has told you yet, b-but we like each other!' She was stammering._ _ **Was she afraid of me?**_  
 _'I know. Just be careful if my mother ever found out Kaelie I'm not sure I can protect you.'_  
 _'You don't have to protect me Clary! But I'm happy, can you not be happy for me?' She looked ready to cry. Strong Kaelie, my best friend._  
 _'I just don't want you- or Jon- to get hurt! But of course I'm happy for you!' I smiled but I don't think she was sure if it was real, so I pulled her, my only friend, in for a hug._  
 _Her body was dissolving in to blood in my hands._ _ **Blood on my hands.**_  
 _'What have_ _ **you**_ _done Clary? Why did_ _ **you**_ _do this to me?' her eyes mirrored the shock in mine, only hers held_ _ **betrayal**_ _._  
 _'I tried! Please believe me!' My tears were mixing with the blood pouring to the floor. The_ _ **crimson**_ _blood._

 _Just before her face melted she said one last thing. 'you a monster Clarissa. It's all_ _ **your fault**_ _.'_

Waking up I heard people walking through the front door. My heart pounding from the nightmare, I took a gulping breath and tried not to sob.

'Clary?' It was Golden Boy standing in the door way. 'You okay?' I shook my head. Walking in he shut the door behind him.  
I cringed back.  
'Clary I'm not going to hurt you! Do you want to tell me what wrong?' I shook my head laughing evilly.  
'its my fault. its always my fault.' I was be coming hysterical. 'My friend! I could have stopped it! but I didn't! maybe I deserved to say with _her_ maybe she deserved a daughter who ruined every ones lives!' I was shouting by now. I wanted to stop. I couldn't. I really couldn't, and I honestly tried. I really did.

I folded at the waist, A tsunami of tears falling down my cheeks onto the thin blanket wrapped around my legs. I felt an arm around my shoulders. But he didn't hurt me. I shouted at him! why wasn't he punishing me?

Holding me to his chest he stroked my hair and weirdly I wasn't scared. I felt safe. I was too far asleep to notice the concerned gazes that appeared around the door. too far to hear Jace tell them that hell handle it. to far gone to think what falling asleep in a mans arms might do to me. I was too far gone.


	8. Breaking The Hold -Jace

Jace's POV

Holding this fire haired girl I'm my arms as she slept quietly yet fitfully, side of her head pushed up against my arm, I wondered (not for the fist time), what she was doing to me. Slowly and carefully I laid her down on the small thin mattress that used to be mine when I was really little. As I put her down I felt her ribs. They were protruding sharply from the sides of her chest, one of them had an odd shape as if once broken and not set in line.

I felt anger at whoever did this and from what Maryse said, it was her mother! What sort of person, sort of _parent_ , would let this happen? Although I had a raging fire of hate burning inside me, I managed to place the patched up blanket over her, carefully tucking it in around her small bony shoulders.

Reaching the door, thinking about how thin and broken she seemed, I heard a small mumble of pain filled words most of which I couldn't hear properly. I couldn't leave her after what she said!

After grabbing a couple of chairs from the table in the kitchen, a blanket from my room and my book, I headed back to Clary's room to stand guard over her until that whorl wind of beauty woke up. Before long, after five chapters maybe, I started falling asleep. One last look at the girl sleeping, I wondered if, maybe, I was falling too fast.

Falling for _her._


	9. Wakeing Hungrey

As I woke up I saw a book carelessly tossed onto the floor. 'A Tale of Two Cities'. Wondering where it came from I got up, rarther gingerly as my stomack still hurt from my Mothers kick. Slowly swinging my legs off the bed, I looked around the room clutching my hurt stomach.

Jace. Frowning slightly, I wondered why he was still in my room and yet the thing I thought about most was why he was reading a classic book, he stricked me as the sort to _not_ read. it didn't actualy surprise me that he stayed realy, I was just curious at _why_ he'd stop. I noticed whilst lost in thought that my head was a bit foggy and then came the headache.

I collapsed onto the bed, groaning loudly. Goldies eyes snapped open, and he stumbled off the chair tripping in his haste.  
'Clary? Darlin? Whats wrong?' he was panicking his hand on my forehead cheking for the temperature he wouldn't find.  
'I-I-ive got a head ache. that's all, I promise!' I Cried whilst Holding my forehead with the hand not supporting my middle. My stomach growled, like a starved animal. Which it is.

'When did you last eat?' his eyes shone with unshed tears. 'I'm getting you something to eat.'  
'Ja-'  
'No arguments Darlin'' With that he left the room. I suddenly felt weak and cold like the warmth had be sapped out of the room when he left. I realised I didn't notice, diddnt _mind_ when he called me darling. I actualy liked it.

A few minutes later I heard laughter. I recognised one voice, Jace and the other was the one who shouted the day earlier. As Jace walked into my room, empty handed, I asked, 'Who was that?'  
'Who? Robert? the one I was just talkin' to?' I nodded. 'He's a nice person really. In his own way.'  
'Okay.' I said. 'Food?'  
'Yeah, it's almost lunch so Maryse said to take ya' into the main room to eat with the rest of us in a few minutes!' He came over to me laughing.

We talked about his life. Yet when he asked about my life, I could feel my expression instantly darken.  
'I won't Judge ya' Clary. Ya' do know that right?' he looked at my expression.  
'I know you won't judge me. But I don't know if I can trust you. I'm sorry!' I saw his expression fall, sad at what I had said.  
'Well ill just have to try harder then! Wont I?' at his lightning expression, I could tell he had a plan he was going to force me into it. Even if I liked it or not. 'Tonight, me, Izzy, Alec and Magnus, are going to go to Pandemonium again. An' you're comin' and you cant say no!' He was grinning again, so happy if I said no it would be like kicking a puppy!

Then I realized who was coming.  
'Magnus you say?' My expression turned into panic.  
'Yeah. Magnus Bane. Ya' know 'im? I mean I know he's rich but I didn't think he was special enough to be known by you mother!'  
'Me and Magnus don't hate or like each other, its really complicated.' I sighed. it was going to be a long day. A long night.

There was silence.

'Izzy, Alec, Magnus and I.' I corrected his earlier mistake to easy the tension.  
'What?'  
'you said, 'Me, Izzy, Alec and Magnus'. It's 'Izzy, Alec, Magnus and I.' I smiled sheepishly.

Before he could say anything Maryse called us to lunch.

Alec was there. How wonderful.


	10. Understanding -Alec

**_In answer to a really good question this is written in an alternate universe so the time periods are mixed and are not really set._**

 ** _Also if I say 'pants' I'll mean underwear since I'm British, so sorry if it confuses people some of the stuff I write._**

 ** _XXX_**

 _ **Alec**_

'Clary, how nice of you to not kill Jace.' I glared at her, struggling to keep my emotions in check. _how could she allow her mother to do get them to whip me!_ I thought to my self.  
'Back off Alec! Her _Mother_ not her! Chill out!' Jace was snapping at me. He never snapped at me until Clarissa walked into the house. Well carried by _my mother_!

We managed to eat in a tense silence until Clarissa stopped eating after a bit of food. Not even enough for a five year old. All I could hear was my mother trying to get her to eat gently. Quietly.

I couldn't take it I stormed out the front door, slamming it shut behind me.

I got past about ten houses when I heard a laboured panting and some one gasping.  
'W _ait!_ Please Alec wait! I want to explain something' Her desperate pleas turned me around to see her clutching her abnormaly small frame. Crying from pain, or distress I didn't know.

'WHAT DO YOU WANT!?' I yelled in her face. i didn't stop even when she flinched back. It was obviously fake fear. A rich girl has nothing to fear other then how cute her husband will be. 'YOU LET YOUR MOTHER WHIP ME, A GIRL LIKE YOU DOESNT DESERVE FRIENDS! YOUR JUST A SELFISH COW!' I was hysterical but the fear in her eyes couldn't be faked or the way she collapsed.

Collapsed? I realized I was holding onto her arms and let go. she fell to the floor crying in a ball.

I've never felt so bad in my life.

She looked so broken.

She looked so alone.

'I-I tried. I did real-really! B-b-but Mother, she hit me over, and over again! She didn't stop until i was so hurt they had to get a healer in. But I swear Alec, I tried! I managed to get you less whips but m-my mother she... she got someone to whip me the twenty and you only got five. I really tried. I really did try. Please Alec! Believe me, PLEASE!' she ended screaming, then she just laid on the floor. Broken.

What sort of monster was her mother? To hurt her own child?

I couldn't hate her, Clarissa, any more. I really couldn't.


	11. Seeing Red -Jace PoV

'Jace, calm down. I'm sure they're both fine!' Maryse was wringing her hands, despite the words. 'Jace you are going to burn the floor if you don't stop pacing!' She said jokingly. I didn't actually realise that i was pacing until she said it.  
'Maryse, I'm going to go out side after her- them! Ya' never know, maybe Clary gouged out Alec's eyes!' I said trying to joke. Izzy and Maryse gave me a knowing look. I did mean they. Really I did!

Izzy sighed. 'Mummy, just let 'im go after Clary-'  
'I said they!' I interrupted but Izzy carried on as if I hadn't spoken.  
'He's gonna to loose it else!' she ended. 'Please?'  
'Fine, bu-' I was out the door before she could say anything else.

I didn't go as far as I thought I would when I heard weeping, gasping. I slowed as I got nearer and saw Red on the floor crying.  
'Red?' o said confused about why she was laying on the stone road.  
'Jace! I don' know why she's actin' like this, it can't be that bad ca-'  
I looked up sharply and before I new it I was pushing him down. He had a closed eye, a cut on his temple but not deep. His eyes here scared. I didn't even remember punching him but my knuckles were bruising, sore.

'J-J-Jace? He didn't mean... He didn't do anything wrong. He-' I looked up to see Clary still crying but not as bad. But before she could continue I leaped up, accidently kneeing Alec in his balls.  
'Red? All I saw was you crying! Why were yo-' I was interrupted, her neon green eyes stared up at me. Questioning me. 'What?'  
'You called me 'Red'. Why?' she said as I pulled her against my chest. She tensed for a minutes but relaxed quite quickly.

I must have held her for a few minutes with her arms crushed between us when Alec said he was going home. Clary puled back, a ruby red blush on her cheeks clashing with her hair. At that moment I could only think of one thing more beautiful. If she was mine. Surprised by the thoughts racing through my head I looked away, hair falling to hide the fact that my cheeks were blushing.

'Jace?' The sweet, tortuosse voice snapped me out of my thoughts of the angle before me. 'Why did you call me 'Red'.' Damn! I didn't answer her last time.  
'Well I was... it was... Sorry!' i stammered. 'It was a nick-name, im sorry-'  
'don't be. I liked it.' she smiled at me. i knew when ever she smiled like that i would give her the moon on the stick if she wanted me too.

Shit.  
I.  
Am.  
In.  
Deep.


	12. SORRY!

Writing next chapter! Sorry had to revise for my GCSEs (exams)!

XXXXX


	13. A responce to a nast comment

things you should know about me;

yes im probably depressed but not because of people like you but because of my mother,

im not smart and I admit that I have to do my GCSEs since its illegal no to,

And no im not going to cut myself since that would mess my life up so badly,

and last of all I wish I could just die mot of the time so bravo you know every thing about but this;

my mother is mentally ill,  
she hates my sister(her own daughter most of the time)  
Insults by people who are like you don't effect me,

and last of all don't tell people what to do with there life and always remember this  
up for results, across for attention you bastard.

if you hated the fanfic so much why did you get to chapter 11?  
jokes on you.


	14. Pandemonium 1

'Clary? Do you want to go to the club?' It was Jace. They'd all been trying to get me out of the house, even Alec after two weeks ago, but now I thought about it a figured that maybe I needed to go. Maybe they didn't know about Jon.  
'Okay.' I said it in a mono tone which made Jace cock his head like a confused dog.  
'Sup with you?' He quizzed.  
'Nothing Jace.' I sighed and got up to leave before Jace could say anything, but he still put his arm out to stop me. 'Jace, lets just go. I don't want to do this.' I heard my voice crack but I didn't feel ashamed or weak in front of Jace It just made me feel tired.  
'Fine...' He trailed off then started to speak unimportant thing like who's having an affair with who, and who to avoid at the club he didn't realize I knew it already, and I wasn't going to tell him. Not yet.

Walking into the club I Physically relaxed but I've been here enough to know to always keep on guard. I spotted a flash of black hair and a laughing face, the face of my brother's friend Sebastian Verlack.  
'Ill be back in a second I said before weaving through the crowd towards Seb, muttering 'sorry's and 'scuse me's as I went.  
'Seb?' I said cautiously afraid he wouldn't recognize me since I got so thin.  
'Hmm?' He mumbled. His head buried into the neck of a petite blond.  
'Seb!?' I repeated angrily.  
'What?!' He said snapping up his head before blinking in surprise.  
In recognition.

'C-clary?'


	15. Truths of darkness and lust

'Hey Seb.' seeing my expression his instantly darkens.  
'What's up Clary?'  
I started to cry and when Seb goes to hug me I move away and tell him what id been dreading.  
'He's dead.  
'Who's dead Clare?'

'Jon...Dead...Ages ago...I ran... Was going to marry Raphael...' I managed to gasp out in-between sobs and this time I let him hold me.

After both of us crying me and Sebastian parted and went to opposite sides of the club promising to meet up again.  
'Who was that?' Jace asked.  
'An old acquaintance of mine.' I replied curtly. Going back to drink his drink making him grin.  
'Do you want your own drink?'  
'Nah im good with yours. Thank you for asking though.' he grinned making me confused. 'What?' he just stared at me with a weird expression.

'Clary did ya' 'ere your self? Your starting to sound more common.'  
'And you sound not as common as before!' I snipped back. he just laughed and kissed my cheek throwing an arm over my shoulder before taking his drink past and whispering in my ear.  
'there's other thing you'd learn from us as well. mostly me and there things you wouldn't have learned from any one else of your station.' he said before leaning down to my neck and kissing my pulse making me gasp.

He smiled as he stood up and got back to talking to everyone, he left me breathless and wanting more.

Something no one had ever made me feel before.


End file.
